Thursday, 20 July 2017

8 Things Not to Say to Someone with PCOS

Being handed a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a confusing time. 

PCOS and other endocrine disorders are still being studied, and are still not completely understood by most Doctors. It's difficult to try and get my questions answered by medical professionals, I struggle with my own acceptance, as well as the impact this has on Dave partner. When it gets a bit too much, sometimes I just want to confide in friends and family and, to be fair, sometimes they just don't know how to respond.

Without stating the blinding obvious, dealing with infertility in a very sensitive and confusing topic. I'm not completely unreasonable and I do realise that talking about topics like this can make people feel a little uncomfortable. I know I've definitely offloaded on people before just to be met with a blank, uncomfortable stare, or some kind but unhelpful words. Sometimes people just say things that they think might help, but ultimately piss me off. 

If you know someone with PCOS, here's a little list of things to not say when they confide in you about their worries.

"Victoria Beckham has it, and look at how skinny she is!"

Well, yes she is, and she's incredibly lucky. She also has access to some of the greatest Doctors, Plastic Surgeons, and Personal Trainers around! I have to beg my GP just to send me for an ultrasound to check up what the fuck is going on inside my pelvis, so imagine how frustrating it can be to try and get my GP to work with me.

"If you go on the pill, won't that help your periods?"

Yes and no. It'll probably help regulate them, but going on contraception doesn't help me if I'm going to try and conceive. Also, I've tried every pill, patch and coil going. They're either incredibly annoying and painful, or they send my hormones wild and turn me into a werewolf. A regular period is literally not worth the hell my body goes through on hormonal treatments.

"Why are you crying again?"

I wish I fucking knew, mate. My hormones are all over the show at the best of times, and I seem to be in a constant state of PMS. I cried the other day because I accidentally knocked a blanket off of the couch, so imagine living with that.

"When is your period due?"

I get this question a lot more than you'd think. The answer is: fuck knows. It honestly just comes whenever it feels like it. Whenever it does come, it never wants to leave.

"Why is there hair everywhere?"

My hair is so thin and falls out like nobody's business. So, unfortunately, it gets everywhere. Drains, sinks, couches, shoes, duvet covers: You name it, it's probably covered in my hair. Hair loss is a very frustrating symptom of PCOS. I used to have really amazing thick hair, and now it's so thin that it barely fills a ponytail. 

"Why are you so worried about kids? You're so young, if it doesn't happen, it wasn't meant to be!"

Realistically, it isn't going to be as easy as a drunken roll in the hay to get pregnant. I'm banking on it taking a couple of years. Worst case scenario, I'll need to go through all kinds of tests, dramatic diet and lifestyle changes, scans, and operations. Even then if I do get pregnant, I'll be quite high risk. It'll likely be months and months of worry. 

Yes, you could argue that time is on my side, but for me to not worry about it is pretty impractical. I have to think about this stuff. 

"I know loads of people that have it, you'll be fine."

Everyone's different and will have different ways of coping, or have different symptoms. I'm happy for people that get through their days without problems, but PCOS can be a painful and difficult condition to live with! If they can get through it pain and discomfort free, then more power to them! Unfortunately, I'm not one of these people. Besides, this is me I'm talking about, let me have my concerns about my well-being!

"Why are you always buying pregnancy tests?"

My ovaries like to fuck with my head, so it's always good to know if I'm waiting for a period, or cooking something in my uterus. When my periods tend to range between 2-8 weeks late, it's good to have these just sitting around, just in case.

I'm obviously not here to lecture people on how to treat their friends and family, but maybe this can help you see it from their point of view!

If you liked this post, you might like The Most Annoying Things about PCOS

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