Friday, 23 February 2018

Frisky Friday: I tried Poundland Viagra...



When I first heard about Poundland's sex toys, I obviously made sure I got my hands on a few bits to try. Since then, anytime I've gone in to get a cheeky look and see if they've expanded the range, they never seem to have the 'Vitality Supplements' in.



It felt like a magical day when I found them in the corner of Poundland; Like the clouds parted and a ray of light shone down on the toiletries section, and a God-like voice said "HEY BITCH", and I snapped them straight up.

Poundland viagra pills
I'll be honest, I had no idea what to expect. I don't really need help with my sex drive, but anything for a blog post, ey? I tried to read as little as possible about them, so I didn't have any preconceptions when it came to testing.

Poundland viagra



The packaging advises 'Pop two pills before playtime and say hello to fun times". In each packet, there are two pills, so it's £1 for one use. It says to take them on an empty stomach, and forty minutes before the desired effect, so I did just that. For £1, I don't really know what I was expecting. Probably not to turn into a giant sexual deviant after forty minutes, but at least a little kick in the pants. I made sure I had a free night, and when I got home, I took both pills and waited with bated vadge. 

Boy, was I disappointed.

No urge to bang everything, no heart-racing lust, not even a flutter of extra energy. I just sat on the sofa, engrossed in It's Always Sunny, and had only noticed an hour and a half had gone by when I got the dreaded 'are you still watching?' screen of shame.

The 'supplements for her' contains matrimony vine extract and maca root extract, which are both said to improve female sexual health and fertility. The 'blue pills for men' contain guarana, ginger root and ginseng, all stimulants that are meant to reduce fatigue, so it's clear that these pills are just supposed to be an energy booster. I've since read a further break down of the blue pills, and it does seem that these pills are no more effective than a Red Bull before a shag.

A lot of people are embarrassed buying sexual aids, so I can really appreciate what Poundland are trying to do, which is why they're not getting a whopping 0/5. They're bringing budget sexual products to a new range of people. People that might not want to pop into Ann Summers and grab a dildo, but will instead run into Poundland and buy a couple of homeware bits and candles to disguise the vibrator they snuck into their basket three aisles earlier. People that might be buying their first ever bullet and not want to shell out £15 in case they don't like it. Putting a range like this in Poundland helps normalise sexuality, and I am here for it.

It wasn't all a loss. I mean, we did have a nice night, but it wasn't enhanced in any way by these pills. Had they been any more than £1 I'd have fumed about wasting my money, but instead, I'll just chalk it up to experience. The general consensus of various articles that I've read about them is that they don't do anything, but that doesn't necessarily mean it won't work for you. I personally think they're a load of shite, but hey it might tickle your pickle more than it did mine.











4 comments :

  1. I'm totally with you on Poundland helping to normalise sex toys etc. It's about as introductory to that world as you can get but everyone has to start somewhere! I don't think I would ever pouch much faith in a £1 supplement though!

    Love this post, I'm still laughing haha!

    Sarah :)
    Saloca in Wonderland

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    1. Thanks Sarah! I think some people need easing into it before leaping into the world of Naughty N Nice!

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  2. AT least the pink pills LOOK nice, the metallic finish is cute! Taking them on an empty stomach 40 minutes beforehand makes them feel more like medicine than motivation to me, but I totally agree that it's great to see a cheap high street shop normalising sex

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    1. I thought so too about the medicine. I was hoping I was gonna get my daily dose of Vitamin D IFYAKNOWWHATIMEAN, but no such luck.

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